Tuesday, January 15, 2008
get smarter, look younger, with the yellow diet
The Yellow Diet is making me healthier, smarter, and more likeable. Thanks to my lieutenants who cater to my every need, for bringing this astonishing, revolutionary healing system to my attention. I saw it in the Other Thans newsletter, but I unfortunately, due to a sore neck from over-computing, forgot to implement the methods they commanded us to adopt.
I started the systematic yellowization of all nutritional input on January 10, 2008. That's the same day I started my new Str8 Sounds Therabusive Noise Carnival site on MySpaceMusic.
Within 5 days, I have acquired 236 profile views, hundreds of hits on my videos, and over 160 Friends, mostly my professional peers, other musical artists I mean, including many of the bands I have admired for many years.
That's quite an accomplishment for a new band site that nobody, on MySpaceMusic that is, had ever heard of before.
I attribute this significantly rapid rise in popularity to The Yellow Diet more than to my musical talents, if I actually have any, which is a matter of heated debate on one or two blogs, or will be soon if all goes well.
Have you join the Other Thans yet? If you've been receiving their secret newsletter, you already know all about the miracles that are occurring for average people who commit to The Yellow Diet.
During the initiation ritual that forms the base of one's devotion to The Yellow Diet, I was impressed with all the many food items they said were available in a naturally occuring yellow color (foods that've been artificially colored yellow are strictly forbidden).
Today's lovely yellow dinner consisted of one corn muffin, one Bit o' Honey candy, a banana taco, and a small handful of popcorn. I had lemonade to drink (not shown in picture).
They explained that spectrum lab analysis establishes the presence of certain enzymes and coagulatives in yellow foods and beverages that intensify the complexity and speed of your mental processing of information and insight. This yellowification of diet quickly makes you you vastly superior metaphysically to full color palette eaters.
Here's proof of the age reversal rays emanating saffronly from the yellow foods.
That top picture, up at the top of this post, where I look all old and everything, was taken when I started The Yellow Diet, on January 10, like I already said. Why do you force me to keep explaining everything over and over again to you?
Anyway, in the photo below, certainly speaking: I look like I'm 28 again, eh? But the photo below was taken tomorrow!!!