Wednesday, November 28, 2007

15 Steps to Blog Psychosis

For those who oppose my opposition to militarism and war, here's some juicy material you can use against us bloggers. That's right. I'm force-feeding you some ammunition to use to slander and slur the blogosphere.

Often, perhaps inspired by drug addict Rash Limburger, who calls blogs "drive-by media" (but his radio show is "drive-by media" too, since his audience drives their cars while listening to his scholarly program), conservative belligerents like to call us bloggers "basement slummers" and "pajama-clad Starbucks geeks" or "beautiful web pioneers" or whatever.

"Hiding behind your computer" is a funny accusation, since we're far more transparent, ubiquitous, and publicly accessible than most anti-bloggers.

I'm "re-blogging" an old post, with some minor modifications, from my Blog Core Values blog.

and Blog Psychosis

The phenomenon of Over-bloggerization, also known as Blog Psychosis, occurs when a blogger considers their blog to be more important than money, life, or music itself.

Experts had a solid grasp of the blogging-induced disease spectrum, but no reliable symptomology or progressive sequence of blogistic events that culminate in the dreaded dysfuntion in the core of the blogger's ego, self, and personality.

The blog has a mysterious power of seduction, in that it can replace your normal, unblog personality with grotesque and towering mutation that overshadows and causes to cower every adversary, bully, and thought cop.

The negative side of this blessing is that it may also outmanever and overcome your core sense of who and what you are. The insidious invasive aggression of blog-induced identity decay can be catastrophic in effect and hopelessly irreversible.

Over-bloggerization generally occurs in the sequence of events, and tends to be seen in bloggers with 6 months to 3 years continuous blogging/commenting experience.

Blog Psychosis
Event Sequence:

15 Step Program.

(1) Blog Birth Elation.

(2) Blog Post Topic Selection Confusion.

(3) Blog Comment Ecstasy.

(4) Blog Citation Euphoria.

(5) Blogocombat Dysphoria.

(6) Blogocentric Episodic Paranoia Syndrome.

(7) Blogophilic Narcissistic Cathexis.

(8) Blogomorphic Hyper-Manic Melancholia.

(9) Blog Parenthetically Installed as Rehabilitated Superego.

(10) Blogomatic Over-valuation Morbidity.

(11) Blogopathic Reaction Formation.

(12) Blog Ambiguity Crisis.

(13) Blog Replication of Introjected Archaic Object.

[we have now passed the point of no return, no remedy]

(14) Blog Apotheosis Dissemblancing.

(15) Blog Psychosis--total permanent loss of original pre-blog personality and goals.

It is only when your blog becomes your surrogate, psychic shadow, extension, or facsimile, and this may take months, that you face any danger of the ruinous road to Over-bloggerization, Blog Psychosis, and the irrevocable vanishing of your former self.

The good news is that, though incurable, Blog Psychosis is treatable.

Simply subscribe to the Vaspers RSS feed, email notification program, or bookmark this lovely blogomorphic wonder and visit it on a regular or schizoid basis. This blog, with its advance blogocentric therapeutics, will enable you to live a somewhat normal life, in spite of the irreversible damage your blogging obsession has caused.

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