Monday, January 22, 2007

15 signs of an amateur web site

Here's how to know that you just stepped into a stinky, slimey pile of Amateur Web Site.

(1) Calling the site a place where you can "hang out", and using welcome statements like "Enjoy your stay here", "Have fun browsing this site", or "Relax in our tea room with fresh brewed aromas and gentle conversation".

(2) Tedious, breathless excitement about the "launch" of a stupid web site (which is no big deal) and unbounded ecstasy over the simple, mundane fact that a YASIWS (Yet Another Self-Impressed Web Site) is now online, as though only 50 or 60 other web sites existed so it was a rare and wondrous event, as though millions of people were waiting in suspense for the stupid thing to spring into existence.

(3) Commanding readers to Contact Us, but the words "Contact Us" are not a link to the Contact Us page, nor to a web contact form.

(4) Mentioning pages in the web site, without linking each occurence.

(5) Pages that are "under construction", that, far too commonly, never materialize.

(6) Lying about credentials, education, or skills.

(7) No "About Me" or "Contact Me" page.

(8) No clear explanation of what the site's about.

(9) Typos and bad design.

(10) Calling a former employer's clients their clients.

(11) Mentioning how "more content" and "more features" are coming, eventually, someday, hopefully, in an attempt to distract you from the fact that the site is pretty barren and dull.

(12) Displaying work that was done as an employee and not as an independent free-lancer.

(13) Attributing complimentary quotes to organizations and not specific individuals and titles.

(14) Using the owner's name as the company name. "Sheila Fields Design Studio" means it's probably just Sheila Fields doing everything. "Paul Miller Graphic Advantage Co." is likely to be just poor old Paul Miller against the world. The same goes for a web site. A www followed by a name then a dot com is surely nothing more than the name, perhaps one or two loosely associated helpers.

(15) Saying "we" and "our" all over the site, thinking it will make your solo act sound like a great big successful company, but not realizing the focus should be on the customer, on "you" and "your".


Loren Feldman said...

Awesome as always oh Grate one.

steven edward streight said...

We, here at Vaspers the Grate Inc., are proud to say that a special team has been assigned to investigate this matter and make everything nice again.