Saturday, November 18, 2006

Kat Herding Means Business photo

Since Kat Herding Media came into my life, I find that I have more time to ponder the deeper and more serious realities of life. And now my lawn mows me, instead of vice versa. Friends, this is a thrilling time to be me, and I hope that, given my not very ordinary delirium, I can figure out a way to convey my well-directed enthusiasm.

I am not and will not be compensated, paid, stroked, flattered, nor will I be given "favors", "special treatment", product discounts, consulting fee waivers, or otherwise incentivized for making this, or any future, announcements or endorsements for Kat Herding, who happens to be, beyond any debate: The World's Most Perfect Blogger.

Kat, who is both beauty and brains rolled up in one energetic package, has taught me, just by reading a few of her astonishing posts, how to Be the Blogger I Was Meant To Be. She, with gentle prodding of "teach by example" karate, has helped me get in touch with my Inner Blogger, who is eternal and perfect, like her.

If you love online figureheads, avatars, and web ephemera, you'll surely jump for joy for my recent discovery,

A discovery which was prompted by a curious email from a Mr. Christopher Locke today.

In his angry message, Mr. Locke aka Rage Boy, was ALL CAPSing me, scolding me (unprovoked) about my "messed up" blog, and loudly demanding me to visit Kat Herding, or else he would abruptly stop giving me free marketing advice and inside dirt on respected Web 2.0 personalities.

According to Christopher Locke, Ms. Herding is not only a top ranked marketing strategist, but she also has a deeply human side to her that can touch the hearts of millions upon millions of readers and business clients.

Kat Herding is a true revelation of everything a blogger is supposed to be, but rarely is or becomes.

I plan to shyly suggest some kind of partnership with this lady blogger.

Vaspers is quite adamant (first time I ever used this word, I think) about how her talents and his own could coincide into some amazing results for clients. I'm talking massive sky-borne fireworks, big colorful balloons, huge contracts, and hot dogs for the kids.

Ms. Herding is currently working on some important work for IBM and Walmart, possibly Audible and Krugle, too. These clients have deep pockets and plenty of stuff that's desperately in need of analysis, so keep your fingers crossed for me please.

She actually heard some of my CompuMusik CD "Music for Florida Art Galleries" and said it was nice. Now I'm sure she meant "barely tolerable at near zero volume", but, due to her enlightened understanding of not one but many spiritual paths, she was too kind to give me any bad news about my noise junk that I force on people in a cruel and misanthropic way, for which I assure you: I feel ashamed and debased.

(I am listening to Hovhaness "Symphony #2: Mysterious Mountain" as I type this.)

I keep reading her URL as "kather ding" and I can't stop it. I guess that will gradually give way to more pleasant associations as we dream up ways of working together to make Web 2.0, 3.0, and Infinity. 0 (my keyboard doesn't have an 8 lying horizontally, which us smart folks know is the official mathematical symbol for infinity) a reality.


Loren Feldman said...

You know it's a fake right? The whole thing is a goof.

steven edward streight said...

I hope Kat doesn't come after you for saying that.

She knows some martial arts, Tibetan monks taught her. She's not as fragile as she may appear.

carrie said...

she certainly is beautiful.

looks like ashley judd.

carrie said...

does she wear the same outfit every day? not that there's anything wrong with that