Friday, September 08, 2006

get professional blogologist credentials

Now you can gain accreditation as a blogging expert. It's easy to become a Certified Blogologist, Blog Analyst, Blog Specialist, or Blog Evangelist.

All you need to do is pass a test that I administer.

You will need to prepare by doing the following:

(1) Create, maintain, and frequently update your own blog.

(2) Know the history of blogs.

(3) Be familiar with such classic and successful blogs as Boing Boing, Seth's Blog, Doc Searls, Scripting News, PhotoMatt, Scobleizer, Dooce, Evhead, and Instapundit.

(4) Have experience in reciprocal commenting, comment spam prevention, blogocombat, blog re-design, blog critique, blog ally recruitment, blog networking, blog marketing, and blog revolution concepts (Universal Content Utopia, Web 2.0, RSS/Atom syndication, news rivers, video blogging).

(5) Know the difference between a real blog and a blogoid web object (pseudo-blog).

As long as you're feeling sure and swift in replying to questions on the above topics and issues, you're already half way there!

Just take and pass the appropriate test module, submit a sample post from your own blog, and one quote in your favor by a comment poster, along with the harshest thing anyone has ever said about your blog (to prove you've engaged in blogocombat), and voila!

You'll be a recognized, peer-reviewed, seal-of-approvaled, prestigious, bona fide blog expert, with a sidebar badge to display your shiny new credentials. (Sidebar badges sold separately.)

This is GENUINE, and carries all the weight of being officially approved by Vaspers the Grate, a recognized and quoted authority and innovator in the business blogosphere and videocasting industry.

Vaspers the Grate is the consensus-approved, self-anointed King of Blogocombat, etc., usability pundit hated by web designers, etc.,

Now you can have the stamp of approval that might not reduce the frequency of doors being slammed in your face, but can cause the slamming to be done with a kinder smile of civility.

But more significantly: an grudging acknowledgement that although you truly are qualified and gloriously credentialed (by the famous Vaspers the Grate), they just don't like your personality.

Now you'll be able to blame nothing but your own personality for your future career failures...because you'll be a bored-certified Blog Expert! And as a full-fledged official Blog Expert, only you can stand in your way!

Please specify which expertise you would like to qualify for:

* Certified Blogologist: studies blog content, design, popularity, influence, and blog trackers, knows blog culture of personal, professional, organizational blogs, qualified to train others in blog creation and blogging techniques

* Certified Blog Analyst: studies blog functionality and usability, qualified to make recommendations on, and implement revisions to, blog design, content, and goals.

* Certified Blog Specialist: familiar with multiple blog software and social media platforms, wikis, discussion lists, online forums, qualified to steer clients to appropriate communication platforms and technology advancements.

* Certified Blog Tech Evangelist: understands blog cultures, techniques, and strategies for ecommerce, political, issues, and other end result applications, qualified to speak for the entire blogosphere and predict the future of blogging.

Apply for your test today.

Post a comment, or email me: steven [dot] streight [at] gmail [dot] com

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