Monday, August 07, 2006

unviral video: the Subway disaster

The new Subway "wannabe viral" self-reflexive waste of time boring video by Agency dot com, a video about trying to make a video to win the Subway advertising account, is a tepid trainwreck.

View the dumb ass crap: Agency dot com Subway video.

Check out CK's post about the Subway Video Trainwreck. It's titled "Getting Closer to Your Customers...or Your Ego?", an perfectly intelligent and perceptive take on this jejune disgrace to video marketing.

The damn thing is exclusively all about the agency team, full of sandwich eating faces, and self-congratulatory grinding mediocrity. Avoid imitating this visual fatigue and total dearth of creative imagination.

I guess the video was supposed to be a recruitment video, to entice talent to work at Subway, but the wobbly thing says nothing about Subway, their product, or the agency trying in vain to "make a behind-the-scenes video" that will "go viral" and be "about the experience, not the message". Yawn. Uh...where was I?

I see neither experience nor message. Just a relentless plogging along in stupid predictability and senseless shimmy-shamming, that takes a full and tedious 10 mintues to numb your entire body with uninspired schlock.

I wish I was dead. 20 seconds into it, I was searching for poison to swallow, to end the suffering I was experiencing during this digital slop. Do they still have firing squads or guillotines that need some bait? This agency needs to be put out of its appalling misery.

Since some things are so bad, they become popular and buzzworthy based on a colossal defect, the "success" of this bland Subway commercial will not negate a single statement that I make about it.

If this agency wins the account, and Subway asks them to make a real TV commercial for them, watch the backlash that will paint Subway with ugly colorations. If you want to repulse the industry and audience with hideous stupidity, this is how to do it. Publicity generation does NOT equal excellance or quality.

Flash in the pan gimmicky mediocrity may get attention, but it won't provide steadily increasing sales after the laughs die down.

Thanks to CK for alerting me to this optical-auditory sludge.

EDIT UPDATE: Check out the harshings found in comments at "What did we set out to do".

Vaspers the Grate
"unviral video" (6:23)


Anonymous said...

My God, you aree the worst case of an aging fool trying to be current I have ever come across. I strongly suggest you research a topic before subjecting anyone to a drunken rant.

steven edward streight said...

Thank you brave Anonymous with no web presence for the compliments, but I fear you are exaggerating.

It's flattering to be flamed so staunchly and bitterly, but I must point out that as an aging fool, I just a few days ago had my "CEO blogs polish them up please" post re-blogged by the CEO of a billion dollar company, Jim Estill of SYNNEX Cananda Ltd.

Counter that achievement with a feather from your cap, please.

I am eagerly awaiting to hear of something you accomplished lately, since you're so intelligent.

I give you an A+ as comment poster and blog interactor. I wish I got more flames like this, for I certainly deserve and merit them, wouldn't you agree?

When flamed, attack yourself, readers, never attack the attacker, except in a mocking satirical, self effacing manner, and drop a bomb of proficiency that cannot be deflected.

End of sermon.

Oh, and BTW, I don't have to get drunk to be annoyed at grinding mediocrity and video fatigue that Agency dot comb has released into the Vlogosphere.

I was not drunk, but maybe a bit tired. Us old aging guys don't do well on 4 hours sleep per night and 16 hours on the computer every damn day.

But thanks for the addiction alert, even though it was mistaken and misguided.


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