Wednesday, August 23, 2006

cyber bullies: 10 signs of the player hater

Could a cyber bully hurt your child? Your company? Your person? Your reputation?

Do you know how to detect, deflect, defend against, and defeat an online lunatic attack?

Cyber bullies and player haters have much in common. They...hate. And hurt.

They seek victims. Masochists are mysteriously magnetized and limping toward them, with fragile psyches, approval addiction scars, and unsettled methodology as their seductive lure. The digital demonic destroyer denizens. A commonly encountered criminal cancer of the blogosphere.

Parents, teachers, single young ladies, and school children are observing and personally encountering various forms of malicious targeted or randomized digital attack. This is one reason why I make such an issue out of "blogocombat".

Children are threatened with much cyber cruelty, not to mention online sexual predators and con artists. Cyber sadism is the pure enjoyment of inflicting pain, fear, and suffering on other people.

The multi-payload
hyper-media assault

a "bully bang", "uvv (ultra violent video) sweep", "happy slapping", or "fast slapping" is when a thug sneaks up on a victim, beats them quickly, captures it all on a cell phone camera, and then posts the humiliating punishment on the web to shame and terrify the victim. Others view the video, pass it along to their friends via email or blog posting, and the damage widens.

You must be aware of how brutal the online world can be.

If you think you can just be nice, post nice articles, get nice comments, treat everyone nice, and have everything nice, you're in for a rude awakening.

Sooner or later, a cyber bully will show up at your blog. He will troll, or post comments just to try to stir up trouble, offend a reader or yourself, and you will need to know how to deal with it.

I can teach you how to spot such cyber bullying, or what I often call "player hate". A player hater is a special type of cyber bully who attacks you, not because you are a random victim in their radar screen, but because they personally despise you for your attempts to achieve creative excellance.

The player hater cyber bully is generally an unstable, insecure, frustrated failure, "unappreciated genius", who feels somehow threatened (by their Superego, in Freudian terms) when they see you out there taking photos, writing poems, publishing a blog, doing podcasts, making videos, mentioning clients, thanking others for linking to you...all this makes them furious.

You learn nothing from a Player Hater but how mean spirited an envious person can be. But even the most petty, vugar, and sadistic criticism can provoke us to be more introspective, to seek out the tiniest grain of truth to what they claim, to flash a brightly shining light at our work.

Just don't let them win. NEVER accommodate or attempt to appease any bully. Either fight back ferociously, ignore them entirely, or report them to the proper authorities.

10 Signs of the Player Hater
Type of Cyber Bully:

(1) Bitterly critical, with seething hostility toward you, not as a random victim, but an unseemly rage against you as a business person, consultant, entrepreneur, artist, video maker, blogger, photographer, poet, singer, musician, whatever talent you are expressing.

(2) Inconsiderate of your feelings, insensitive to anything but their "need" to "correct" and, if possible, guilt trip you. Misery loves miserable company. Misery hates cheerful company.

(3) Engages in strident posting of hateful slams and slurs against you on public internet forums, like comments at your video upload page at YouTube. Compares you unfavorably with others, just to gain the support of others, hoping they will agree and join in the campaign against you.

(4) Ignores your requests to "put up or shut up", i.e., they trash what you're doing, but they aren't even trying to do their own version as an example of "how you should do it". Too lazy, insecure, or untalented to attempt to outdo you and gain accolades for their own work.

(5) Demands that you must agree with their negative assessment of your hard work -- crybaby bullies who feel like forcing others to accept their supposed superiority.

NEVER budge a single inch.

NEVER wimp out by saying, "Well, maybe I am a bit overboard. Perhaps I need to tone it down. I'll look into my inner motivations and public reactions. You may have a point."

That is cyber suicide, setting yourself up for more bullying.

(6) Calls you filthy names if you defend yourself and try to explain why you are experimenting or producing so much, or whatever you're doing that they've decided they don't like.

(7) Threatens to do more, to speak to your boss or spouse or mom about their lunatic point of view about what you're doing.

You may have to get an Order of Protection against them, a Restraining Order, if you think they will actually do physical violence, or will be so outrageous as to call your boss or spouse to stir up trouble.

(8) Is not "happy" unless he can intimidate you, make you cower or cry. The sadistic delight in making others unhappy, confused, uncertain, despairing, and eventually give up. Their only goal is to hurt you and make you stop doing what they disapprove of and dislike, when really: it's none of their business.

(9) Acts like a typical physically violent, alcoholic, yoni-phobic, skirt-squashing, mysoginist girl-abuser: claims they are your "friend" who "knows you" and is the only one who really "cares" about you.

The cyber bully player hater wants you to seriously think...

The anthem of masochism:

"If I don't bend the knee to worship his destructively judgmental and unsober assessment of my talents and activities, I'll be somehow hurting this poor sincere philanthropist and dismissing the perfectly justified irrational ravings of my friendly first-blood attacker.

My personal dignity as a free agent individual, with a right to do anything I want and the value of never harming another autonomous individual or group, these are not issues worthy of the heated emotional consideration of my opponent who is simultaneoulsy somehow a sincere friend.

To defend myself or explain my own opinion will only be seen as my being an asshat. His hot tempered ferocity is easily incited. I mustn't confront him on the battle zone as an equal (how dare I?) -- I must simply lie down and die, subject my soul to his fiery furious whippings.

His anger issues frighten me. He might send me a tele-bomb or another foul and vile email. I must submit to his superiority and get back to the soothing arms of feeling good and full of grave glum companionship of my attacker-benefactor."

Your Defense is Their
Narcissistic Collapse!

Their brazen posing, their wont to imposture maliciously as a

Not To Be Lightly Dismissed Personal Benefactor

"sincerely worried friend", "loyal fanatic confidante", or "concerned family interventionist"
-- is a sure sign that you've got player hate happening here.

You must listen to him--you are not permitted to explain or clarify anything. We have had, he's decided, enough of you and your tiny world. We, he's decided, must now move on to bigger and better things: him, for example.

All Him, All the Time is the slogan you must memorize and adhere to.

Here Comes the Boiling Digital
Violent Temper Tantrum
Rant and Rave Upsurgence...

When you list those professionals, peers, and others who quote you, compliment you, subscribe to your blog, video, or podcasts, or buy your products, they claim that those fans "don't really know you" and therefore cannot judge your motivations and mentally health.

(10) Is obviously a self-loathing failure who is merely deflecting their own voice of conscience. By turning their self-condemnation into an attack on an external target (you), they thereby reduce the load of painful accusations their Superego is pouring upon their own Ego.


Canopenner said...

When I had an aim/aol bot I would run into these types of personalities almost constantly, however usually they are not very smart and I/you can outflame them in our sleep. Making them look like the morinic fools they truely are, this will usually make them go away.

If that doesnt work then first ban them, then when they come in over a proxy server contact the ISP they originally were posting from and have that ISP contact their mummies, because these people are usually 15-21 year old males living at home and using their parents internet connections.


I cant really imagine anyone wanting to start fight with you tho vas, Your pretty easy going I think. Or so it seems to me.

steven edward streight said...

You also canopenner are a gentle soul.

I think my friends who attack me are just being silly, trying to see if they can pull a fast one on their mentor and peer.

They follow me devotedly, then branch out to form their own cult following, and have to brandish a sword against me, to prove they've evolved into a separate and independent entity.

I have to pretend to joust with their pretended assaults, just to show newbies how to do it, and to make veteran bloggers laugh at the corny absurdity of the petty embattlements.

carrie said...

don't hate the player... hate the game.