Saturday, July 29, 2006

secret blogocombat trick 1: abandonment

You will never know all my secret blogocombat tricks. But the few I toss out should be helpful to CEOs and sensitive approval addicts who think that popularity is a sign of greatness. It isn't. Woe unto you, when all men speak well of someone once said.

I will now begin a series of Secret Blogocombat Tricks, because I think that armed with these techniques, you will be more effective in destroying the Powers That Pretend To Be, reversing the slide into internet nihilism, and purifying the blogosphere of its many vile pollutions and false assertions.

I offer now these paltry dribblings from the sleialgnion oracle.

NOTE: These tricks you'll read about in this series apply ONLY to specific situations.

The strategems will lose potency if you over-use them by defiling them into mere routines, mis-apply them to hurt innocents, or seek "short-cuts" or easy routes to victory.

Secret Blogocombat
Trick #1:


Leave the opponent hanging in the highest blast of his heat.

You know, when the debate gets really fired up and the opponent is super emotional, to him the topic is the most important thing in the entire world. It's a mental judo, using the force of the enemy's onrushing attack against him. Works really good when the last comment posted by the opponent is a series of questions.

Like, the enemy ends his comment with:
"You can't possibly be doing all these YouTube videos, except for ego reasons. Why else would you do such a thing? Where are our band mp3s? Why haven't you returned my phone calls? Are you so full of yourself that you can no longer be even slightly concerned with others? Have you lost your freaking mind? Can you please explain your bizarre behavior?"

Or, the enemy says:
"You seem to hate the mainstream media so much, you refuse to acknowledge any good at all could come from it. Are you that naive and uneducated? Do you want us to just stop watching television and reading newspapers--and turn to the blogs for all our news and opinions? How reliable and trustworthy are bloggers? Aren't they all just a bunch of nude photo posting sluts, wannabe journalists, and whimpering digital diarists? How can you possibly think a slut blog is more authoritative than Brian Williams? Do you really think the blogosphere can change the world?"

Say nothing. Leave the argument and never return.

The message to the lurkers: you've lost interest and refuse to try to reason with a kook.

But the opponent will surmise that he's won, that you could not honestly answer those questions, that you're afraid of his challenging questions and accusations, because they're true and you're ashamed.

But actually: you lost interest. You've got better things to do.

Either you lost interest, or you've got work to get back into, or you are tired of beating your head against the brick wall of stubborn stupidity-- or justified diversity.

Your opponent believes with all his heart that war solves problems. You believe "blessed be the peacemakers". You two will never meet eye to eye, so forget about it. Let him drift off on his determined conclusion, and you drift off on yours. Now, you're both happy.

Who cares who's right?

The world will always side with the violent, the retaliatory, the vengeful, the sensational, the sexual, the rich, the materialistic, the popular ("if it's successful, it must be good"), the selfish hero of misanthropic cash accumulation who's called a "good businessman".

Anyway, back to the main point: often your best policy, especially in a discussion that seems to be going nowhere, time-consumingly, is to abandon the conversation.

Let others pick up the sword and lance and proceed, if they care to.

For your part, you're done.


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