Sunday, July 09, 2006

New Reformed Insane Blog Media Network


Yawn.

"Your money-making schedule is enclosed," I said in an email sent out to select bloggers not long enough ago.

"Blogs, brains, and castrations blades at your service, sir or madam" was our slogan offered to corporate CEOs and other wimpy executives who need others to defend them in the blogosphere. We would go after flamers and totally destroy them with Derrida-Socrates type attacks.

Make (maybe) millions with social media, etc. Monetize your blog, ROI your mom, make your pets work for their food, teach the birds to bring you cannabis.

Here's real "news you can lose" from the unfriendly folks at the Aggravated Apathy Clinic, a division of the Reginald Mental Hygiene Association, a wealthy sponsor of Vaspers the Grate.

Charles Reginald forced me to do him a favor.

In keeping with author-heroin dabbler and marihuana champion Will Self and his abominable and celebrated Quantity Theory of Insanity, Mr. Reginald asked me to draw the forces of lunacy out of society, to accumulate in a bizarre blog network.

Will Self is famous for saying that his writing is so personal, the reader enters a personal relationship with him that is more personal than having a personal relationship with him.



Quantity Theory of Insanity

(my paraphrasic mutilation):


(1) There is only so much insanity that one world can contain.

(2) In human society, insanity is unfairly distributed.

(3) Undue concentrations of insanity can be diminished by creating insanity in another location. When you increase the insanity in one location, it automatically and instantly decreases in other locations.

So, if you follow this reasoning, if we deliberately create a critical mass of insanity in a certain sector of the blogosphere, we will dilute the insanity in MySpace, online MSM newspapers, anti-blog bloggers, pseudo blogs, and RSS feed Content-Vampire Blogs.



"New Reformed Insane
Blog Media Network" =



(1) "new" -- novelty is king, long live the unknown as it leaks into the familiar

(2) "reformed" -- euphoric upheaval, ecstatic reform, and cataclysmic re-orientation, lending the refreshment of safety and stability to new ventures, the security of constant core and tangential change, continual unanticipated improvement

(3) "insane" -- euphemism for the subversive, para-abnormal, unauthorized, unorthodox

(4) "blog" [allegoria: social trans-volution lycium] -- simple CMS with frequent reverse chronological updates, reader comments, trackbacks, syndication, podcasts, video, feedrolls, links, etc.

(5) "media" -- a constellagtion of public platforms and UI {..."media"...}

(6) "network" -- loose collaboration and comradarie, via comments, email, VOIP, vlogs, podcasts, and blog posts for the perpetuation of ________ and _______.


new + reformed + insane + blog + media + network:

"we do everything backwards, Your Honor"


We are anti-capitalist ecommerce mongers, greedily giving away our online fortunes to the Bill Grates Foundation, the parody charity that gives $1.00 per year to the 10 most wealthy people in the world! With instructions on how they MUST spend it for social reform programs!

Your blog can apply for membership in this non-profit opportunity to almost GET RICH
by doing next to nothing.

Email me today, or post a clever comment. Wait and see, as CEOs say timidly until it's too late.

Maybe a miracle will occur and you'll be accepted. Or maybe, without applying, we'll force you to join. Or add your blog to our membership rolls without your knowledge or consent.

(Most current participants are Involuntary Status charter members.)

The list I promised, of who's in our network, was delayed because the database has a monkey crunch in it and I can't unglue the nature of the beast. Some day I'll produce that list, and wait for the shock and horror to dissolve into a million yellow pieces.

To compensate for this misfortune, here is my 49 Media podcast with Chris Ritke. This podcast was done about a year ago, I think.

I had just woken up, my throat was parched and dry, I had no coffee, nor any beverage, yet. I had no notes, no preparation, no idea what to say.

I believe in unprepared interviews. To send some schmuck a list of questions in advance, to carefully rehearse his replies, is idiotic and not authentic. I think Chris and I discussed a few basic topics I wanted to cover, but there were no specific questions or answers planned ahead of time. That's the screwed up MSM way of doing things.

Blogs and podcasts ideally are all about transparency and spontaneity. Why? Because I said so, that's why. Sucka foo.

49 Media Podcast with
Vaspers the Grate



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