Monday, June 19, 2006

Forbes 100 Most Powerful Celebrities

Forbes has yawningly announced, via their email newsletter and web site, the 100 most powerful celebrities, based on both earnings and buzz.

The Forbes Celebrity 100

Go read the flaccid article, which has lots more unimportant details about what makes a meaningless celebrity buzz-worthy (babies, break-ups, bashings, etc.) ... and other boring details about these jejune and insignificant individuals.

If you're fascinated with empty persons who contribute very little to society, unless there's plenty of fanfare and media coverage about it, go check out this blase and anti-climactic report.

It's more effective than a phone book for putting you to sleep.

zzzzzz: they're [most of them, especially actors] entirely and eternally irrelevant.

They won't help you accomplish anything in life, except they might goad you into getting up and doing something. Like buying more of their product or sponsor's products. But some of them mean well, apparently, like Tiger Woods (a true hero and super achiever) and good old Dr. Phil, who is way too soft on screwed up, pampering, vice-enabling parents.

Howard Stern sucks. An immature junior high humor schmuck. Claims he's "hung like a pimple". I can certainly detect his inadequacies and insecurities quite clearly.

I've put in red type the so called "celebrities" that I like a little bit. Why anyone should care, I have no idea. Which ones do you like? Any at all?

1. Tom Cruise
2. Rolling Stones
3. Oprah Winfrey
4. U2
5. Tiger Woods
6. Steven Spielberg
7. Howard Stern
8. 50 Cent
9. Cast of The Sopranos
10. Dan Brown
11. Bruce Springsteen
12. Donald Trump
13. Muhammad Ali
14. Paul McCartney
15. George Lucas
16. Elton John
17. David Letterman
18. Phil Mickelson
19. J.K. Rowling
20. Brad Pitt
21. Peter Jackson
22. Dr. Phil McGraw
23. Jay Leno
24. Celine Dion
25. Kobe Bryant
26. Michael Jordan
27. Johnny Depp
28. Jerry Seinfeld
29. Simon Cowell
30. Michael Schumacher
31. Tom Hanks
32. Rush Limbaugh
33. Denzel Washington
34. Cast of Desperate
35. Jennifer Aniston
35. Angelina Jolie
37. The Olsen Twins
38. Nicole Kidman
39. The Eagles
40. Rod Stewart
41. Shaquille O'Neal
42. Jerry Bruckheimer
43. David Beckham
44. Jessica Simpson
45. Andrew Lloyd Webber
46. LeBron James
47. Neil Diamond
48. Alex Rodriguez
49. Will Smith
50. Dick Wolf
51. Dave Matthews Band
52. Tom Brady
53. Ronaldinho
54. Jodie Foster
55. Ray Romano
56. Paris Hilton
57. Adam Sandler
58. Derek Jeter
59. Jennifer Lopez
60. Rick Warren
61. Scarlett Johansson
62. Katie Couric
63. Maria Sharapova
64. Valentino Rossi
65. Halle Berry
66. James Patterson
67. Leonardo DiCaprio
68. Kiefer Sutherland
69. Jim Carrey
70. Cameron Diaz
71. Gisele Bundchen
72. Renee Zellweger
73. Carson Palmer
74. Michelle Wie
75. Reese Witherspoon
76. Bill O'Reilly
77. Kate Moss
78. Diane Sawyer
79. Sean (Diddy) Combs
80. John Grisham
81. Rachael Ray
82. Dave Chappelle
83. Larry the Cable Guy
84. Tyra Banks
85. George Lopez
86. Regis Philbin
87. Serena Williams
88. Ryan Seacrest
89. Wolfgang Puck
90. Venus Williams
91. Annika Sorenstam
92. Matthew Broderick/
Nathan Lane
93. Mel Brooks
94. Emeril Lagasse
95. Nicole Richie
96. Heidi Klum
97. Mario Batali
98. Eric Idle/
Mike Nichols
99. Adriana Lima
100. Ty Pennington

What about Bill Gates, the Google Twins, or Subservient Chicken, who now does dangerous bicycle stunts in commercials?


Anonymous said...

One important person you left off your list is Kidd Chris on WYSP-FM

Bonnie Pingler

Anonymous said...

I can't believe that you did not include Kevin Federline. He has mad talent, and is clearly one of the most powerful celebrities that has ever lived.

KC Armstrong