Tuesday, February 21, 2006

World's Dullest Blog promotion post

To promote my favorite blog in the whole freaking bloatosphere, allow me to quote an excessively large chunk, all of the main index page.

For my new students and colleagues coming over here, and also checking out the nutty whacko-blogging site A Jack of All Blogs, howdy.

You will deeply regret coming here. I have, and since you're bound to discover soon anyway, I'll admit it up front: I sometimes, at 4:67 AM on the third or second Sunday of any month that begins with the letter M or J, might have an occasional, though short-lived, "anger issue" with some metrosexual transvestite gel-scraper who gets in my way.

If you wear women's make up, and go to their facial spas, you're either gay, or want to be gay, or are trying to be gay...

...or you have no other way to meet girls than to try on their cosmetics, skin lotions, body mists, douche filters, and clothes.

If you wear any make up, and you're a man...you're not a man anymore.

For I am a Triumphalist Blogger, and if you want to learn how to blog with balls attached, or castration technique shining (for you grrrrls)...

...then FOLLOW ME! And no one else!

Make ME...and ME ONLY...your technical blogging guru, mentor, teacher, and master.

Notice the sheer frozen, emotionally dead composition style of my favorite blog, World's Dullest Blog, a joke title, because I'm hooked on it, and I lie in bed thinking about it.

What will he do next? Have sex?

Please post a
comment here
on what you think.



Opening a cupboard door
(dull, October 17)
There was a cupboard in the corner of the room. I reached out my hand and gripped the door handle. I pulled the door towards me, thereby opening the cupboard.
Permalink 17/10/2005 3:29 am

Standing in the middle of the room
(dull, April 21)
I was standing at a central point in the room. The walls were all at approximately the same distance from me. I continued to stand there for a few moments.
Permalink 21/04/2005 3:56 pm

Scratching my knee
(dull, September 10)
My knee had a slight itch. I reached out my hand and scratched the knee in question. The itch was relieved and I was able to continue with my activities.
Permalink 10/09/2004 5:11 pm

Moving an item from one place to another
(dull, July 21)
There was an object occupying a space on my table. Using my hand I picked up the item from its place. Having considered my options for a moment I placed the object on a different area of the table.
Permalink 21/07/2004 10:47 pm

Looking at a wall
(dull, May 19)
I was standing quite near to a wall. I turned my attention towards it for a few moments. Having done this for several seconds I turned away from it and carried on doing something else.
Permalink 19/05/2004 2:48 pm

Drumming my fingers on the arm of the chair
(dull, April 12)
I was sitting down on one of the chairs in my house. My hand was resting on the arm of the chair. I started to drum my fingers on the arm, thereby making a barely audible sound.
Permalink 12/04/2004 2:04 pm

Turning off a light
(dull, March 17)
A light in one of the rooms of my house was on. I decided that I didn't need the light on any longer. I pressed the light switch thereby turning off the light.
Permalink 17/03/2004 12:07 am

Thinking about putting on some music
(dull, February 22)
I was in a room carrying out some routine activities. I began to consider playing some music on the stereo system. I looked at some compact discs for a while, but didn't put one on.
Permalink 22/02/2004 6:31 pm

Putting a piece of junk mail into the waste paper basket
(dull, February 2)
I discovered a piece of junk mail on my door mat. I carried the item away from the front door and held it above the waste paper basket. I opened my hand, thereby allowing the piece of junk mail to fall into the basket.
Permalink 2/02/2004 4:02 pm

Taking an item out of a drawer
(dull, January 21)
I opened a drawer by pulling it towards me. I picked up the object I needed and removed it from the drawer. Having done so I pushed the drawer with my hand, thus closing it.
Permalink 21/01/2004 11:38 pm

Taking a sip of coffee from a mug sitting on my desk
(dull, January 12)
I had a mug of coffee sitting on my desk. I reached out my hand and picked up the mug. I took a sip of coffee before returning the mug to it's former position on my desk.
Permalink 12/01/2004 2:24 pm

Taking a plate to the kitchen
(dull, January 3)
There was an empty plate sitting on a surface in one of the rooms of my house. I picked up the plate and carried it into the kitchen. I then deposited the plate upon one of the kitchen work surfaces.
Permalink 3/01/2004 12:07 pm

Picking up my pen
(dull, December 19)
I was sitting on a chair in the living room. My pen was lying on the table. I reached out my hand and picked up the pen.
Permalink 19/12/2003 11:32 pm

Looking at some pieces of paper
(dull, December 8)
I had several pieces of paper in front of me. I looked at one of them for a few moments, then put it aside. Having done so I picked up another piece and looked at it for a while.
Permalink 8/12/2003 1:38 pm

Going outside
(dull, December 2)
I was inside my house and decided that I would like to go outside for a while. I picked up my keys, opened the front door and stepped outside. I turned around and closed the door behind me.
Permalink 2/12/2003 4:19 pm

Sitting on the settee
(dull, November 21)
I was sitting on the settee in my living room. The settee felt quite comfortable to sit on. I continued to sit there for a while.

[END QUOTE]Send Me A Message


carrie said...

i love that. i am gonna start doing my blog that way, too.

it would be hard.

i sat staring blankly at the screen with my left hand supporting my chin. i could smell the pungent aroma of skunk spray wafting through the window. i removed my hand from my chin and began to type.

insain in the membrain said...

i have some gay guy friends and we go to this gay bar they like- it is so fun yet so sad to see those hot ass guys and they dont even want me. :(

IMO, Xian said...

There is something strangely hilarious about this, and I really want to find out why I like it. Is it the idea that less is more, which could mean nothing is the most? Or is it the suspence and overwhelming sence that SOMETHING might happen that keeps us reading? A friend reminded me of the phenomenon of web cams which sort of exploded a while back. There was a web cam I frequented for awhile of a room from the point of view of an out of the way chair. Every now and then I would watch a person make a sandwich, eat it, and do dishes, and I asked myself why I would do something as boring as watch someone do such boring things?
I guess people are just voyeuristic by nature and like to watch people do anything, even if it is boring. This Dullest blog gives a unique opportunity to watch someone do all these boring things, without the messy inner monologue that every other blog shares with us

chartreuse said...

You are the strangest person on the planet. I actually enjoy reading your crap. I just hope your real name isn't CJ...

steven edward streight said...

Anonymous: quit staring at that photo of my blog groopie "insain the the men brain".

Listen up: I want you to write contributing articles to A Jack of All Blogs.

If you get published there, and a lot of hits, comments, you will tell all your pals to comment there, we or I might pay you. I will pay you a CD of my new violent electronic music, and maybe money, someday.

G. Randy Primm said...

i gotta admit, that was boring.

i did like the nice touch of the permalinks. now every time i feel overly anxious, i could link to any number of instant downers.

thanks a lot.


steven edward streight said...

Okay. All you guys who keep coming here just so as to stare at that thumbnail of insain in the membrain:

She just got married. Yeah. I know she's fine, but she's taken.

All your silly comments don't fool me. I know why you come to this particular post.

Shame on you wolves.

steven edward streight said...

I woke up and read my email. I clicked on one. Nothing happened, so I logged out and went back to bed.

insain in the membrain said...

cool- i would love to be your blog groupie!!!! what are my perks?

steven edward streight said...

Your perks are those delicate round orb like things that administer a mother's milk to her offspring.

If you have any further gynicological questions, I prefer you pass them on to Dave Taylor at:

Ask Dave Taylor

carrie said...

one of those ghost emails was probably the comment i left on this post in the middle of the night last night... that never got posted and i figured you just hate me now and that is why you deleted my comment. either that, or i was dreaming.

my comment said something about how i was going to start writing my blog like the WDB and I did a practice run... which will now be forever lost in the ether.

gmail was screwed up at some point today.... i do know that.

bfutkfjm that's a funny word verification.

steven edward streight said...

Always blame any mistake or oversight on my geek neck. It is freaking killing me.


steven edward streight said...

Boy, for a supposedly "dull" "wiblog", this post about it is pushing upwards toward 20 comments!!!!!

insain in the membrain said...

oh thats what those are? thanks,