Friday, January 27, 2006

catch me if you can

"My plan is to post so fast and frequently, that my readers can't keep up with me and are unable to post comments, except on some post that is already archived." Sleepy Neon stated with a crazed look in his eyes.

"Huh?" I asked, bored with all this constant blogological blabbering day and night, though secretly speaking, I sort of like it.

"You know," he explained.

"I know what?" I countered.

"How people whine about how if they don't get comments, nobody's paying attention to them. That lost little kid in the mall feeling these chumps get," was his rapid reply.

"So?" I whimpered as best I could.

"So, I'm posting fast, deliberately trying to outpace them, I mean my blog readers, so I'm not letting them add any comments. I'm posting new posts too fast. By the time I approve and publish their comments, those posts they commenting on are already deeply buried in my archives, they've already been pushed down off the home page, and off the Recent Posts list in my sidebar."

"And this is for...what?" I asked. "Some weird domination system you're erecting in your spot in the blogosphere?"

"Domination System?"

"Yeah, you want to dominate your readers by posting so fast they can't keep up with comments," was my fluid response to this madness, blogology gone bonkers.

"No, I don't wish to dominate, but, rather, I seek to illuminate the lie that you need comments from readers to somehow goad you to keep blogging. It's chumping out. These bloggers who seek comments as proof of their own value are annoying me with their attitudes. If they need reader comments to be passionate about their topic, and to drive them to write about it on their blog, these bloggers are ridiculous. Weak," he clarified.

"Fascinating," I said as I looked up into the sky outside the lunatic asylum window. "Well, I better get going, I've got some potatoes to fry."

The clouds seemed to be suspended from rubber springs.

[signed] steven streight aka vaspers the grate

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