Tuesday, November 01, 2005

blogs that bite and chew


blogs that bite and chew

What does your blog feed on?

I mean, does your blog eat anything? anything at all?

To live, a blog must chew. Otherwise it's teeth will grow backwards and penetrate its brain, causing it to die.

But for a blog to open its mouth and rip a piece of flesh off the bone, and start grinding its teeth against the morsel, the blog must have hunger.

Your blog must hunger for truth, for justice, for independent thought.

Your blog must have a painful craving for freedom of expression and exposure of villainy, lies, and mediocrity.

I like blogs that have an empty feeling in the pit of their stomachs, blogs that experience hunger pangs for solid nourishment.

In other words, I like blogs that bite and chew.

Blogs that eat through you,
they know what to do.
Blogs that bite and chew,
pass the pepper, ah, ah choo.

Does your blog have the proper fangs and well developed jaw muscles? What can your blog devour in a lonely hour?

Sharpen your blog's teeth and let it get busy chowing down.

You know what I mean for it to eat, don't you?

You know what I want your blog to dine upon, don't you?

SPECIAL
EXCLUSIVE

FREE CD
OFFER:


The first person to guess will receive a FREE music CD by Steven Streight CompuMusik, over 70 minutes of electronic soundscapes burned into an audio music CD-R Pro disk.

Just post a comment and tell me what I'm driving at.

I'll ask you to send me, via email or regular mail, or phone, your physical location address, where I can send the CD.

[signed] Steven Streight aka Vaspers the Grate

:^)

13 comments:

timjoe said...

my guess: drama.

timjoe

steven edward streight said...

Blogs need to eat drama? I'll have to think about that. Not a bad reply, actually.

Disgruntled Car Salesman said...

My blog eats other blogs for breakfast.

steven edward streight said...

Folks, we may have a winner here. Disgruntled Car Salesman is the closest so far to what I had in mind.

I'll wait a little while to see if anyone strikes closer to the target, but I will declare DCS a winner.

Others may take a stab at this and can also win.

timjoe said...

excuse me?!...vaspers, what part of "The first person to guess will receive a FREE music CD by Steven Streight" do you not understand?...i was the first person to guess!

steven edward streight said...

"first person to guess...what it is I'm driving at", not just guess.

But I will honor your invoking of a technical detail, and since "first person to guess" is not the most accurate expression of what I meant, I will grant that you were indeed the first person to guess, even if it was not exactly "what I'm driving at".

It was close enough.

Email me your physical address and I'll send you the CD.

Email me at:

steven [dot] streight [at] gmail [dot] com

carrie said...

it should be obvious that he meant "guess correctly!@!!!!"

Disgruntled Car Salesman said...

Right now my blog is hungry.... timjoe, I am setting the table and were servin you up on a platter.

Dry sarcasm at it's best if you can handle it.

steven edward streight said...

Dry sarcasm is better than a wet sarcophagus.

Disgrumbled Star Scalesman also wins, and if I were a trillionaire, everyone within walking distance of my secret dream recording and playback lab would be winners.

timjoe said...

vaspers, nice try at backpedaling but you can't come back and qualify what you literally wrote when what you literally wrote is what you literally wrote, which was "first person to guess"...as for carrie...sorry, carrie, what he literally wrote is "first person to guess," and it's not obvious at all that it means "to guess correctly"...what IS obvious, and literal, is that it means "first person to guess"...car salesman...serve me up...i'm ready for whatever drama in which you wish to engage.

Disgruntled Car Salesman said...

Booted royally! That's what would happen on my blog if you posted nonsensical garbage like that crap. It STINKS! Anyone with half of a brain and some common sense can interpret what Vaspers meant in his statement. See, timjoe, you are the kind of person who probably expects a trophy for 6th place in a competition of six people. Just because you show up and try doesn't mean that you are entitled to anything but a pat on the back and a "Thanks for coming out."

Besides, it seems as if to me that Vaspers holds all the cards here as he will be doling out the prize.

'Nuf said!

timjoe said...

hmmm...do i detect a little hissyfit?

dcs wrote: Booted royally! That's what would happen on my blog if..etc....

steven edward streight said...

I agree with both of you to some extent.

First, I did not super accurately describe how to win. I did say "the first to guess", when what I meant to say was "the first to guess correctly".

So Tim is right on that point.

But then again, from the context, it should be obvious that I meant "guess correctly".

However, one must be held to what was said, and not what was meant. If one can't say what one means, one needs to improve ones writing skills.

I didn't mean for this to turn into blogocombat. We have better targets to attack and destroy, so let's save our energies for them.

You both win the dubious prize.

Or I could be like Solomon and offer to cut the CD in half, but I think I'll skip that solution, it made more sense in Solomon's situation.