Wednesday, November 16, 2005

blogosphere is in bad shape

blogosphere is
in bad shape

I hate to say this, but the blogosphere is not feeling well. I think it's sick, and I feel all alone. I feel like one of the few qualified Blogo Paramedics who cares about the mess the blogosphere is in.

I have so much to do, and now this.

I can't hardly handle all the stress and trouble coming my way, but I will. You can count on it.

Now, as I inspect a bunch of my favorite blogs, I see all kinds of recurring problems.

I hope to post a comprehensive State of the Blogosphere 2005 in early December, but for now, let me list just a few of the more worrisome problems I see.

What's Wrong with the Blogosphere

(1.) Comment spam.

Please bloggers, get your act together. I am sick and tired of explaining, warning, and scolding. You frigging idiots, get rid of the comment spam on your blogs, and put anti-spam devices in place.

I use Zero Budget Marketing strategies, and may write a book on this topic soon. My point is this: it doesn't cost anything to prevent and eliminate spam or abusive comments on your blog.

You business bloggers should know better. I'm extremely disappointed with most of you wankers. You call yourself "blog consultants" and "marketing pros". Bullshit. If you can't control the comment spam, you ain't worth a crap.

(2.) Frivolous Posts.

Listen: not one single reader gives a crap about your highly vaunted, and totally worthless "blog conferences". You go to these ridiculous mutual admiration society fests, and come out stupider than you were before.

You learn nothing. You accomplish nothing. You "network" with other pathetic morons and then write posts and display photos of bloggers clowning around. You suck.

Many of you business bloggers are wasting our time and exhausting our patience.

The business bloggers I read frequently, I can count on one hand. Very few. Most of you jerk offs are posting junk that nobody can benefit from. How do you like me now?

(3.) Rampant blog design and hypertext errors.

Would it kill you to learn a little bit about HTML, CSS, and web design?

You commit so many weblog design mistakes, I won't even bother listing them all. I've started sending emails to you, and posting comments on your blogs, to help you understand what you're doing wrong. This is very time consuming, but I do want to help you out.

My blog is not the most beautiful web site in the world, I know that. I need to learn a few more tricks, too. I just noticed that, according to Jakob Nielsen's "Weblog Usability: The Top Ten Design Mistakes" article, I myself am guilty of a few errors, too. Ooops.

Here they are:

* blogspot domain: I should spend the $8 per year to have a domain in my own name, not that of a free service. I'm not sure if I agree completely with this, what do you think?

* no photo: I need to display a photo of my frantic face to add credibility and ugliness to the web. Okay. I'll try to do that very soon. I told Dave Taylor to do it about a year ago, and he did it, and I still have not done it. I feel like a blasted hypocrite. Darn it.

* mixed topics: he says you should focus tightly and not post a huge variety of topics. I disagree slightly. I think you need a little variety. But then again, I do see too much variety on most business blogs, too many posts that are way off topic or plain oaf-fashioned personal drivel.

Do you see the two mistakes that Jakob Nielsen himself makes?

Should I tell you what they are?

(1.) His text columns are way too wide. Online reading experts suggest that a column be short enough that the reader does not have to turn his or her head from left to right to read it. The column width that I use here is much better. I can't believe he is guilty of this fundamental error. Well, nobody's perfect, right?

(2.) No permalink to his articles. You have to go up to the web address bar at the top of the page and put your cursor at the end of what is visible, click three times, then backspace the visible URL segment out to see the non-visible segment, or just highlight the web address, copy it, then paste it somewhere to see it. Lots of blogs make this same mistake. You would be shocked.

Jakob Nielsen wisely states that most personal bloggers don't have to worry much about these issues. Personal bloggers are only reaching a few friends and family. I think he's correct about this.

But it's really funny to see so many personal bloggers, like MaryBeth of The Desert Day By Day and Carrie Snell of A Grain of Salt, out perform you so-called "business bloggers" and "marketing consultants" in web design savvy.

If I were a business person looking for ways to succeed online, I would avoid most business and marketing blogs like the plague.

You don't know how to compose hypertext links. I see so many "this article", "read more", and "click here" hypertext links that I want to smash your lousy blog to pieces. This is rank amateur error.

Go to Jakob Nielsen and spend a few hours learning how stupid your blog is.

Have you ever noticed how Typepad blogs have lousy post URLs?

Blogger has really good post URLs assigned by Blogger to the posts you write. When I see a post URL that truncates a word, like ".../busi.html" instead of ".../business.html", it makes me laugh.

A blogger is, of necessity, a webmaster.

If you have a blog, you are responsible for writing, editing, fact-checking, design, hypertext linking, comment spam prevention, abusive and off-topic comment deletion, and every other aspect of the site.

You are a webmaster, so you need to start acting like it.

If you don't want to police and maintain your blog like a decent citizen of the blog realm, then quit blogging. Don't pollute the blogosphere with your garbage blog.

(4.) Kissing MSM butt.

If you think the mainstream media is going to help you make money, become popular, and be're crazy. The MSM wants to get rid of real bloggers and make the rest goosestep in line with their outmoded vision of "business as usual" sewage.

You can't please and court the MSM and still be a valid and valuable blogger.

[signed] Steven Streight aka Vaspers the Grate


Disgruntled Car Salesman said...

Just signs of stupid people posing as intelligent bloggers.

They are like parrots who mimick to sound smart....

You can try to get rid of them, and I wish you the best of luck. But, the task you take is long and arguous. Have fun!

steven edward streight said...

Oh DisCaSal, I shan't ever want to shanty them in progressively dimmer regions of the outerspheric blogosphere, cause them to come to a caustic stop, stipulate their course.

I will just merely smile, blow their blogs up with snide comments about how retarded their blogs look with spam comments littering it all over the placid place.

Disgruntled Car Salesman said...

Ahh Steven, I knew I liked you...

carrie said...

i was hitting the 'next blog' button on blogger for about an hour and it is full of mostly crap blogs!

i do enjoy seeing a pic of the author and don't see a problem with having a blogspot blog. except that most of them suck.

steven edward streight said...

Most of the blogs that stink will be abandoned and eventually deleted I suspect and while that is happening, there will be other that plod along, improving and influencing.

It may be risky to click on Next Blog. I did a post a long time ago about the possibility of landing on an ice cream truck blog that surreptiously installs a dubious program on your computer as you listen to music emanating from the blog.

I however did one time click on Next Blog and stumbled upon a teen code blog that was quite odd.

carrie said...

there are lots of teen blogs from singapore

steven edward streight said...

I think this one was also from Singapore.

teen code or chatroom talk, "prolly", "cd", "t" for "the", etc. Then waalli gollipoooolli type foreign talk.