Saturday, April 16, 2005

re: lurkers (pomade flambeau nebulosity)


"emulsion encumbrance" by s. streight (copywrong 2004)
Posted by Hello



A blog is a Slow Chat Room.

[You heard it here first.]

When a blog visitor reads a post, naturally they should have a mental reaction to it, and feel an irresistable urge to express themselves in a comment.

Then why do only 2% of internet users post content to websites, discussion forums, bulletin boards, or weblogs?

Here are 22 possible reasons for this posting paralysis.

Why a lurker (slacker who won’t post comments) remains a frozen or frightened embryo:

POMADE FLAMBEAU NEBULOSITY

(1.) shy, withdrawn, bashful
(2.) fear of being trolled, baited, or flamed
(3.) inarticulate, clumsy communicator
(4.) in too big a hurry
(5.) needs to obtain information more than to express opinions
(6.) doesn’t know what to say
(7.) fear of alleged genius not being fully recognized and appreciated
(8.) fear of putting foot or entire leg in mouth
(9.) has had entire belief system demolished by post, functionally mute
(10.) too drunk, can barely sit at computer
(11.) too tired, can barely read computer screen
(12.) too busy eating pizza or applying nail polish
(13.) watching television and reading blog at same time
(14.) listening to loud music and reading blog at same time
(15.) mowing lawn and reading blog at same time
(16.) selfish, jealous, doesn’t want to enrich your blog with his profound wisdom
(17.) psycho-capitalistic, anti-altruistic, can’t see “what’s in it for me?”
(18.) has been told not to think for himself, thus has no opinions until they’re given to him by the Powers That Be (boss, wife, or news media)
(19.) fear of having to debate endlessly to defend simple statement
(20.) fear of making enemies online by posting offensive statement
(21.) not skilled enough with computer to enter and post a comment
(22.) afraid that the UFOs will read his comment and use it against him when they finally get their act together and take over planet Earth

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